Jan. 22nd, 2015

tranquilityseekers: (blessing)
Feeling off-kilter and odd today...

Its that peculiar restlessness that comes over me periodically. Don't know why and can't seem to find much otherworldly significance to it (believe me, I've been recording these moods for a while.) I think its more about a process of subconsciously generating something that will soon rise to my consciousness. A new story to write. A new project to launch. Something. Its funny how often I don't set out to create something, and instead find it manifesting almost whole cloth out of the ether. Maybe that's what going on.

Under the surface, all these shake ups and shadows and shouts and songs and sighs are moving things around in my mind-- but I can't quite see where the redecorating committee decided to place my mental furniture! Not right now. The curtains are drawn and I can see nothing within myself, but I can hear scrapes on the floor and the mumbling of the movers. I know something's up, but until the curtains are open at some point in the future, on some level I remain, temporarily, a mystery to myself.

One thing about middle age that I can very much appreciate is that I've learned a lot about my own psychological processes. I know I have periods of mourning, of creating, of releasing... no longer am I leery of these songs of the spirit-- even if they turn out to be dirges. I take in, digest, and -- well, I don't want to say 'excrete'-- although that is an apt metaphor for some end-result emotional products! LOL!

Life's experiences and lessons have a way of moving through our minds, often in convoluted and plodding ways... Though we can feel overwhelmed at times, I sometimes think the bigger problem in our society is that we no longer have patience for processing pain. Despite our reflexive avoidance, pain can lead to unexpectedly healthy insights and changes in our lives-- or to new creations that would not have manifested without the impetus that often only darkness can provide.

Yet I would be lying if I denied that it can be difficult to wait and see what comes next each step of the way. I think one of the hardest lessons to learn is that we have within us a source of essential spiritual wisdom that leads us through our journey if we but trust it. For some, that would be God or a Universal Collective Mind of some sort. For others, a Higher Self. Regardless, if we but let ourselves find some silence to let this wisdom through from time to time, I think we would would all lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

I swear I'm trying!

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tranquilityseekers

December 2015

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