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Accepting That Sociopaths Walk Among Us
Jan. 3rd, 2014 12:00 pmOver the course of my life I've both been a target of sociopaths and witnessed others who have been targeted. I've been able to see not only the effects of someone painstakingly extricating themselves away from an abusive, manipulative sociopath-- but also seen the overall lack of support most of us receive from otherwise well-meaning people.
Everyone asks, "Why didn't you just leave?" The blame is always placed on the victim.
I've studied a lot of angles regarding the human mind and human behavior-- including when things go wrong, as when people either self-destruct or seek to destroy others. I've studied self-hatred and I've studied evil. What so many don't understand is how often evil people actively seek out potential victims who don't have much self-esteem and self-respect to begin with. Its like a dance where one person takes over the life and mind of another, and the one who has been taken over has to fight their way out of a labyrinth in which self-destruction is encouraged.
People in general don't realize how MANY sociopaths exist in our society-- 1 in 25. That means out of every 100 people you meet, 4 of them have no empathy, no conscience, no ability to attach to others, and have no experience with guilt, remorse, or any other reason NOT to do bad things to other people or animals. There is NO softness in them. They are ice. They are evil-- and they remain that way for the rest of their lives. You cannot cure evil because that which makes a person care enough not to cause harm does not exist in their brains. Most may even be born that way.
There are people who lose their tempers and strike out. There are people who make mistakes because they are overwhelmed. This is not the kind of abuse we're talking about in these cases. Sociopaths have heart-rates that go down when they abuse others. They get extra calm and calculated and the pleasure centers in their brains light up with they induce pain and suffering.
I've know of cases where the abuser actively STUDIED how to be the most effective "Master" they could be. Brain-washing. Mind control. These are the techniques that both cult leaders and military interrogators use to break down the will of their target. This is important for people to understand when it comes to abuse cases of this nature-- victims literally lost their will to say no. They became like puppets. Terrified, miserable-- but unable to help themselves.
But let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about here...
Research has shown easily and repeatedly that protein deprivation is detrimental to the brain's ability to make judgments. If you've ever noticed that some vegans seem "spacey" this could be the reason why. In fact, shamans will curb protein intake and all 'heavy' foods for days before undergoing a journey. Lack of protein makes you subject to trances and suggestions. You're more likely to just accept what you're told without question, and unable to think through arguments logically. Some abusers routinely starve their victims, not allowing them easy access to food-- but most especially protein rich foods. Not just meat, but peanut-butter may be forbidden-- also dairy, eggs, and beans.
Research has shown likewise that sleep deprivation robs the brain of the ability to not only reason, but to function with stable emotions. Abusers sometimes purposely interrupt their victim's sleep and/or force them to get up early and retire very late, often with a list of chores or responsibilities so impossibly long that sleep must be cut into in order to finish up.
Are we beginning to comprehend the nightmare this turns into?
This is more like being a prisoner of war than someone who gets smacked around sometimes!
The use of highly addictive drugs slipped into food and/or drink or otherwise forced onto a victim are also a common way of controlling victims.
Then there can be special 'programming' sessions-- in which an abuser will loom over their victim and made them 'confess' to being a horrible person. They might force the victim to think of their own 'deserved' punishment. Making them repeat phrases about their worthlessness, their ugliness, their stupidity, their insanity-- on and on and on. An abuser might make a victim get down on hands and knees and beg the abuser for forgiveness. Then the abuser may make the victim do humiliating things. Disgusting things that would turn your stomach. But if the victim didn't do them, the punishment was worse. The victim feels doubly terrible for contributing to their own punishments-- especially if they find themselves in the thick of 'Stockholm Syndrome' and actually siding with their own abuser against themselves. The sense of self-betrayal is monstrous.
Another fun hobby for sociopaths: gaslighting. For those of you who don't know of this technique, its named after a classic movie in which a man and his lover trick his wife into thinking she's going crazy. Sociopaths seem to take particular delight in making other people think they're crazy, getting them to doubt their own senses. Self-doubt makes fighting for yourself very difficult. For example, they might change around calendars and schedules every once in a while, then switch it back so their victim gets confused and makes mistakes. The abuser may create all these effects to turn reality on its head for short periods of time, then return things to normal-- so their victim never knows what to believe. Many sociopaths will trick outsiders to help them in this cause, further isolating and confusing their victim.
The abuser may even began trying to talk their victim into acts of self-harm, including committing suicide, bringing them implements to do herself in-- pills, razors... telling the victim how much better off the world would be, their loved ones would be, how no one would miss them. How happy the victim's suffering or absence would make the abuser. What a beautiful corpse the victim would be, etc. The abuser may be quiet, kind-acting, and soft-spoken when they try to seduce their victim into self-harm and self-annihilation.
What few understand is that all of this, including more classic acts of assault and verbal abuse, don't begin all at once. Rather, sociopaths often start out as winers and diners, going big on the romance to reel in their next targeted victim. That victim then finds, once they begin a relationship, that every couple of months the behavior of their once-beloved would reach a new low. Its a steady escalation of violence and control. Once the victim is reeled in, they quickly find themselves trapped. By the time they realize the extent of the threat, they are often already too far gone to know how to escape. They are separated from their family and friends-- who, because they do not understand what's happening-- often turn around and blame the victim and abandon them...
My POINT here is that through all of this, very few people have any idea the extent to which one human being would go out of their way to hurt another. Just for kicks. Because so few of us can comprehend the motivation for this type of behavior, too many get stuck in denial that this sort of dynamic can ever happen-- let alone to someone they know or themselves.
However, this ignorance needs to be more widely addressed. By inducing fear and manipulating perceptions, one human being CAN dominate another. Until more people understand how this dynamic works and step up to not only face and defy the bullies and sicko monsters among us-- but to advocate for and refuse to blame the victims!-- our world remains a playground for sociopaths. Ignorance is not bliss-- its a target on our asses, or on our friends, family, and neighbors. If more people simply understood the reality of what can happen at the hands of truly evil people-- sociopaths could have a real chance of being convicted for felonies, victims could have more support, and more innocent people could avoid such a cruel fate.
Beware of people who are charming. Charm is a verb, not a trait. It requires ACTING ability. Always remember that. Why does anyone have to pretend to be something they aren't all the time? Why is image so important? Sociopaths are always shallow liars.
And if anyone you know seems to thrive on self-pity, even as an able-bodied adult? Watch out. Sociopaths love to manipulate through a trait they don't possess-- your ability to feel sorry for others.
1 in 25 people is evil.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO READS THIS
WILL ENCOUNTER AT LEAST ONE SOCIOPATH IN THEIR L
WHO WILL WREAK DEVASTATION!
Know it. Accept it. And be vigilant about it. Don't rush to deny or blame the wrong people. Step up and defend yourself, your family member, your friend, or even a stranger. The evil people keep winning their little games only as long as the rest of us let them. And if you discover someone is a sociopath, DO NOT COVER FOR THEM. Out them. Out them. Out them at every opportunity!
Everyone asks, "Why didn't you just leave?" The blame is always placed on the victim.
I've studied a lot of angles regarding the human mind and human behavior-- including when things go wrong, as when people either self-destruct or seek to destroy others. I've studied self-hatred and I've studied evil. What so many don't understand is how often evil people actively seek out potential victims who don't have much self-esteem and self-respect to begin with. Its like a dance where one person takes over the life and mind of another, and the one who has been taken over has to fight their way out of a labyrinth in which self-destruction is encouraged.
People in general don't realize how MANY sociopaths exist in our society-- 1 in 25. That means out of every 100 people you meet, 4 of them have no empathy, no conscience, no ability to attach to others, and have no experience with guilt, remorse, or any other reason NOT to do bad things to other people or animals. There is NO softness in them. They are ice. They are evil-- and they remain that way for the rest of their lives. You cannot cure evil because that which makes a person care enough not to cause harm does not exist in their brains. Most may even be born that way.
There are people who lose their tempers and strike out. There are people who make mistakes because they are overwhelmed. This is not the kind of abuse we're talking about in these cases. Sociopaths have heart-rates that go down when they abuse others. They get extra calm and calculated and the pleasure centers in their brains light up with they induce pain and suffering.
I've know of cases where the abuser actively STUDIED how to be the most effective "Master" they could be. Brain-washing. Mind control. These are the techniques that both cult leaders and military interrogators use to break down the will of their target. This is important for people to understand when it comes to abuse cases of this nature-- victims literally lost their will to say no. They became like puppets. Terrified, miserable-- but unable to help themselves.
But let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about here...
Research has shown easily and repeatedly that protein deprivation is detrimental to the brain's ability to make judgments. If you've ever noticed that some vegans seem "spacey" this could be the reason why. In fact, shamans will curb protein intake and all 'heavy' foods for days before undergoing a journey. Lack of protein makes you subject to trances and suggestions. You're more likely to just accept what you're told without question, and unable to think through arguments logically. Some abusers routinely starve their victims, not allowing them easy access to food-- but most especially protein rich foods. Not just meat, but peanut-butter may be forbidden-- also dairy, eggs, and beans.
Research has shown likewise that sleep deprivation robs the brain of the ability to not only reason, but to function with stable emotions. Abusers sometimes purposely interrupt their victim's sleep and/or force them to get up early and retire very late, often with a list of chores or responsibilities so impossibly long that sleep must be cut into in order to finish up.
Are we beginning to comprehend the nightmare this turns into?
This is more like being a prisoner of war than someone who gets smacked around sometimes!
The use of highly addictive drugs slipped into food and/or drink or otherwise forced onto a victim are also a common way of controlling victims.
Then there can be special 'programming' sessions-- in which an abuser will loom over their victim and made them 'confess' to being a horrible person. They might force the victim to think of their own 'deserved' punishment. Making them repeat phrases about their worthlessness, their ugliness, their stupidity, their insanity-- on and on and on. An abuser might make a victim get down on hands and knees and beg the abuser for forgiveness. Then the abuser may make the victim do humiliating things. Disgusting things that would turn your stomach. But if the victim didn't do them, the punishment was worse. The victim feels doubly terrible for contributing to their own punishments-- especially if they find themselves in the thick of 'Stockholm Syndrome' and actually siding with their own abuser against themselves. The sense of self-betrayal is monstrous.
Another fun hobby for sociopaths: gaslighting. For those of you who don't know of this technique, its named after a classic movie in which a man and his lover trick his wife into thinking she's going crazy. Sociopaths seem to take particular delight in making other people think they're crazy, getting them to doubt their own senses. Self-doubt makes fighting for yourself very difficult. For example, they might change around calendars and schedules every once in a while, then switch it back so their victim gets confused and makes mistakes. The abuser may create all these effects to turn reality on its head for short periods of time, then return things to normal-- so their victim never knows what to believe. Many sociopaths will trick outsiders to help them in this cause, further isolating and confusing their victim.
The abuser may even began trying to talk their victim into acts of self-harm, including committing suicide, bringing them implements to do herself in-- pills, razors... telling the victim how much better off the world would be, their loved ones would be, how no one would miss them. How happy the victim's suffering or absence would make the abuser. What a beautiful corpse the victim would be, etc. The abuser may be quiet, kind-acting, and soft-spoken when they try to seduce their victim into self-harm and self-annihilation.
What few understand is that all of this, including more classic acts of assault and verbal abuse, don't begin all at once. Rather, sociopaths often start out as winers and diners, going big on the romance to reel in their next targeted victim. That victim then finds, once they begin a relationship, that every couple of months the behavior of their once-beloved would reach a new low. Its a steady escalation of violence and control. Once the victim is reeled in, they quickly find themselves trapped. By the time they realize the extent of the threat, they are often already too far gone to know how to escape. They are separated from their family and friends-- who, because they do not understand what's happening-- often turn around and blame the victim and abandon them...
My POINT here is that through all of this, very few people have any idea the extent to which one human being would go out of their way to hurt another. Just for kicks. Because so few of us can comprehend the motivation for this type of behavior, too many get stuck in denial that this sort of dynamic can ever happen-- let alone to someone they know or themselves.
However, this ignorance needs to be more widely addressed. By inducing fear and manipulating perceptions, one human being CAN dominate another. Until more people understand how this dynamic works and step up to not only face and defy the bullies and sicko monsters among us-- but to advocate for and refuse to blame the victims!-- our world remains a playground for sociopaths. Ignorance is not bliss-- its a target on our asses, or on our friends, family, and neighbors. If more people simply understood the reality of what can happen at the hands of truly evil people-- sociopaths could have a real chance of being convicted for felonies, victims could have more support, and more innocent people could avoid such a cruel fate.
Beware of people who are charming. Charm is a verb, not a trait. It requires ACTING ability. Always remember that. Why does anyone have to pretend to be something they aren't all the time? Why is image so important? Sociopaths are always shallow liars.
And if anyone you know seems to thrive on self-pity, even as an able-bodied adult? Watch out. Sociopaths love to manipulate through a trait they don't possess-- your ability to feel sorry for others.
1 in 25 people is evil.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO READS THIS
WILL ENCOUNTER AT LEAST ONE SOCIOPATH IN THEIR L
WHO WILL WREAK DEVASTATION!
Know it. Accept it. And be vigilant about it. Don't rush to deny or blame the wrong people. Step up and defend yourself, your family member, your friend, or even a stranger. The evil people keep winning their little games only as long as the rest of us let them. And if you discover someone is a sociopath, DO NOT COVER FOR THEM. Out them. Out them. Out them at every opportunity!
