tranquilityseekers: blue face (spiritual)
[Original post April 2007]

This morning I awoke from a very unusual type of dream for me-- it involved talking to totem animals in their spirit form. Later on, I realized that the symbolism matches a Guide dream, but it wasn't like any of the other Guide dreams. It was "shamanic" for lack of any other term. It was incredibly vivid and meaningful and it almost felt like I was in another world, not just dreaming.

The dream began like many do for me. I had just left my secret hiding place in the attic of an old house. There was a very small, obscure passage (one I've used in countless dreams) hidden in a laundry room cupboard on the second story that led to a trap door to an entire room. I only go there alone or with a child/teen self/aspect. I recently figured out that it's a construct to keep out both Rays & Shadows. I use the hidden place as a sanctuary. Sometimes I talk to my younger aspects. I listen to music on headphones there. I read novels. I play and daydream there. It pops up unexpectedly sometimes in dreams where there are Rays and/or Shadows harassing me-- and somehow I've devised a way (subconsciously-- this has been going on for years and only recently did I figure this whole thing out) to "get away" for a break during dreams.

It was only a few months ago that I realized I did this sometimes in dreams, and figured out the narrow passage was made so that the "adult" Rays & Shadows couldn't follow me. (For example, I often hide from my mother, father, or various annoying characters and monsters this way.)  Now that I've come to understand this consciously-- the "secret attic room" is starting to get a bit more interesting. (Normally, it's empty but for a walkman, some books, and some toys-- like I said, child aspects hide here too!)  This time the dream began with me hanging out in the attic [from the last dream, which was very frustrating] and the dream switched over to a new scenario. 

I was gazing at a golden triangular structure with a purple eye at the top, positioned near the attic's front window [uh--yeah, 3rd eye TOTALLY] and knew that it was the way to grant my psychic powers more "umph." [Recently, a friend had a very powerful spiritual/psychic dream and she and I were attempting to interpret it. But we couldn't quite penetrate the symbolic "code." I've been asking my dream self to reveal an answer-- so I'm guessing this is it.]

I knew that I had Shadow aspects looking for this hidden power icon, and I knew I couldn't reveal it's actual whereabouts. I snuck downstairs and ran into the Shadow-guy who ran that particular house [which was very gothic, but in a twisted, run-down way] and he asked me if I found the Eye of Power yet. I lied and said no. He had built his own facsimile out of golden mesh wire and painted wood, but it couldn't do what he wanted it to. I was acting very buddy-buddy with this Shadow, and honestly didn't hate him or anything, but I knew he wasn't to be trusted. Anyway, I act like I'm trying to help him find it, and see that there are rooms where naked people and sexual bondage stuff is going on, and remember that's this Shadow's particular freak-out thing.  [I know what you're wondering-- yeah, but it's a Shadow, I don't "play," just fantasize.  Ahem! On with the dream.]  

That evening, more Shadows arrive for a special, ceremonial, dinner. They are all passing around a special, magick dish of warmed honey and almonds-- which was all that was needed to make the Eye of Power work (once it was found.)  The Shadow didn't want me to use the Eye of Power, only he and his male cronies. And I agreed (though knowing I had every intention of using it-- and in fact HAD IT in my secret place) but asked if I could taste the mixture. They indulged me like a child and I took a fingerful of almonds and honey-- it tasted wonderful in the dream! 

I pretended to go to bed, where I found my identical twin sister (we both had long black hair in the dream) and she was under a curse-- and had to be locked into a closet where she grew spiney things and went a little crazy. She begged me for help, because she was turning into this thing more and more often. I was very upset to see her suffer so. She told me the Shadow guy of the house did this to her. [I never saw this Shadow's face because he wore a mask-- probably important to mention.]  I promised her I would get help.

When it was clear, I made haste to the attic, while all the Shadow men were searching the house and grounds for the object that would make them psychically powerful. Once there, I approached the Eye and touched it, asking for help and advice. Suddenly the attic transformed to the loft of a barn, and I saw that there was a few powerful beings there with me. I was changed, too-- more like myself in real life, with red hair and some memory of my waking self. I recognized that they were powerful Totem Crow Spirits. They were 7 feet tall, dressed in black robes, with the heads and feathers of a crow, but the intelligence of a very old wise person. I approached one of them, he carried some long, slender, black wand. I told him that my sister needed help and so did I-- could he help us?  He said he would, but I had to accomplish a task for him first. I had to help him assist his friend, the Fox. I agreed.

Next thing I knew we were outside the barn, and he was in total crow form. He flew from place to place, keeping just ahead of me, as I followed him to yet another barn. There, he indicated I was to go in and tell them I was there to help. [Incidentally, HIS barn was dark grey, this other one was red.]  I thanked him and he flew off.

Inside the barn was another Spirit Totem, over 6 feet tall, and dressed in red robes with a foxhead and paw-like hands, only he was holding a human baby in pajamas! I went up to him and told him I was there to help him, that Crow had sent me. He said he needed to leave the barn and go hunting, but some bad men were trying to hurt the children he was protecting. If I could protect them, he could get his tasks done. So I took the baby from him [SO cute!] and he left the barn. I rallied the other children to help me (all were redheads, and human) and we took most of them to the loft to hide in the hay, while I had the older ones hand me tools to bar the barn doors, and I armed myself with a small hatchet. I knew that we'd be okay-- and then I awoke.
This is the first time in a couple years that I've spoken to Totem Spirit Animals in dreams-- which sucks, since I'm working with a Shawnee Medicine Woman. And before it was Raven & Wolf. This time, it was Crow & Fox. I don't quite get the significance of the switch. Except that Raven & Wolf were personal totems I worked with, and appeared as giant versions of the animals. They were individual spirits that worked with me on a intimate level. The Crow and Fox Spirits, however, appeared as more powerful Totemic gods, in robes with wands and emanating power. Also, I was unable to reach them without the help of the golden triangle with the purple eye dolmen-- obviously a reference to the psychic 3rd eye.

I can't quite interpret this yet-- since I'm still pondering it and thinking it over. At least it appears I was able to access my 3rd eye to reach the Totem Spirits, and when Crow gave me a task, I was able to accomplish it. Hopefully, this means I earned more answers in upcoming dreams. I thought it was odd that the red Fox spirit was protecting children in a barn. Not what you'd expect, eh? I think he was a Totem for all those red-headed kids. All were clever, all were in abusive or dangerous situations, and all were in pajamas-- so I think he was protecting them in their dreams. I got the feeling that this was a cross-over dream, where maybe a dozen kids or so suddenly had a woman with long red hair come in and help out their pal, the Fox! I would think the children were aspects of ME, and maybe they are, except I don't recall meeting Fox before or doing any work with him whatsoever.

LATER NOTE: Now that my Dreamquest is going, I've learned a lot. All those kids were aspects of myself. Child aspects being protected (they were getting hunted down and murdered by my father in other dreams). There was an obvious symbolism pointing to the 3rd eye mental/psychic chakra, which is purple or violet. (The whole "indigo" thing is a western affectation, and the 7th crown chakra is SILVER/reflective.) These beings I now think were Guides. Why animals? Well-- why not?

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