tranquilityseekers: touch goddess (invocation)
[From July 2008]

Wow. I just had a doozy of a dream at 4 in the morning. I had to get up and share once I was awake enough to write cogently!

 The first part of the dream was a repeat of several dreams I've been having the last 3 or 4 months that involve my being with my family (sometimes with my father along, sometimes not-- as in real life he's dead.) The family aspects seem to be getting ready to move or something, and for some reason my mother who was driving hands the driver's seat to my sister, Erica. She can't drive in real life, and in the dreams she's not so good at it. She drives on the wrong side of the road, she weaves and swerves all over the place. Luckily, traffic is low and the other drivers on the road manage to avoid hitting us. In several of the dreams, I'm giving my sister driving lessons (though in real life, I don't drive either...!) and I can see over time that her driving is improving. 

[I know that driving in dreams is indicative of steering your life, of being in charge of yourself and your own path. My mother aspect used to drive me around, but now I seem to be showing sister aspect how to do it. I don't know why I don't just do it myself--! What's going on with that part of the repeating dream, anyway?]

I got dropped off in this neighborhood, while Mother and Sister went off somewhere. I saw this one woman's house where I used to visit quite regularly in dreams, and a young lady who was into computers and software was being interviewed by the older woman who lived there. I waited politely until the interview was over, and then I approached and talked to the older woman (feeling a little jealous of the attention she had given the "new girl" -- just ever so slightly.)  She was a toy maker of some kind, but she was getting ready to retire, and she was interviewing the young woman to take over her job-- only in a new way. Learning this made me feel a little sad, though I know all things change...

[The Toymaker is an aspect that concerns itself with fun and entertainment. I turn to computer games and such now much more than toys for fun, so this dream aspect is getting ready to "retire" and be replaced by the new "fun" aspect girl.]

I walked to the house next door, where I knew the Toymaker's friends lived. I called them "the Doll-makers." (I think the name Dollmaker was actually on the mailbox!) It was a very kindly elderly man and woman, who were always very affectionate and sweet to one another and myself. They had kids who had grown up and no longer lived with them, but still visited from time to time.

I could see changes were brewing. If it weren't bad enough that the Toymaker was retiring, it seemed the Dollmakers were close behind and getting ready to move. I saw Dolls everywhere in all states of being packed away. I had visited them often as a child in my dreams, and even in this dream, I was only a teenager, just barely past playing with dolls. They were glad to see me, these old, gentle people, and they got me some tea to sip while I visited. The Toymaker was over as well, and she told me they had a bunch of my old dolls if I wanted to take some of them home with me. I went through their inventory and found about 5 I decided I wanted to keep and so set aside.

Then night was coming on-- and it was so late! I thought my mother would be worried about me and I should call, but then she knew where I was and that I was safe. The Dollmakers told me I could stay the night, it would be no trouble at all. It seemed no big deal that after hanging out reading and drinking tea in the quaint little house surrounded by dolls that I should go lay down for a bit of a nap in THEIR bed with THEM still in it! So I did. There was nowhere else to lay down.

The old couple shifted aside and let me lay down next to them to get a little sleep, just like parents do for kids when the kids are little. But that's how this couple is: very nurturing and patient. I actually did nap in the dream-- and then it was around dawn and I awoke to the quiet murmurings of the Dollmaker couple as they quietly talked to each other, trying not to wake me. I woke up and turned over, and saw the man was cuddling with his wife, all spooned up-- it was so adorable. I sat up, intending to get my dolls together and call my mother for a ride home-- and asked them if I could take some of those dolls home with me (as the Toymaker said I could.) 

And the couple looked at each other and seemed a bit shaken, "No!"
I was confused more than disappointed-- I didn't mind letting them keep the dolls, but what was the big deal? 

The old man explained, "We couldn't let you take any of our dolls home in good conscience, because all our dolls are cursed!" Now, I was greatly intrigued. The old woman went on, "Yes, we have the ghost of a Native American tribesman attached to all our dolls. If you take any home then you'll get bangs and thumps and hear him chanting! We don't want to scare you, dear!"

I told them that of course I understood, but that, "Wow you guys! You don't have to worry about ME being scared by such a thing. I've had weird stuff happening to me all my life! I'd just use the opportunity of the curse to try to make contact with the upset spirit and find out WHY he's doing this to you and all your dolls. You certainly don't deserve it. And often in such cases if you can find out what's wrong, you can work something out with the angry spirit." 

And with that I reached for a doll and psychically connected to it (in the way I learned from another Native American, Nahili!) and suddenly I heard the chanting. I felt for it, reached for it, and began to chant myself. 

The elderly couple were sitting up in bed at this point and even reaching for clothes to get dressed, but my actions totally interrupted them! They looked on in astonishment. The old man said I was chanting just like the ghost! 

Suddenly I fell into a short but very DEEP trance state and a second dream-state overlapped the first, and I saw (okay, and even writing about it now, 2 hours later is making me cry for some reason) a FLASH of light and a scene. It was in black and white, as if it was over-saturated in light, and I saw a Native American woman, elderly, also a dollmaker of a sort, falling backwards and screaming out as something was over-taking her. It was a very short, but very powerful, scene. And then I saw into the tribesman's mind: he showed me his thoughts and feelings and images of "cactus people."

I came out of it and told the couple what I saw. I told them that the ghost was angry at the dollmakers because they used to be Native Americans themselves in another past life, and they had forgotten who they were. They had become betrayers ("cactus people" in the native tougue) to their blood by being born as white people. (And I knew in the dream that this was true of ME, actually.) I told the Dollmakers that they needed to explain to the ghost that they would learn to honor their old ways and old blood-- I told them this was what they needed to do now that they will no longer be making dolls.

And I came out of the dream a little and woke to a trance state where I tried to tell the ghost that in my case, there was no betrayal because I was both a white person and a red person, back and forth, many times both before and after white people reached the shores of America. I had NEVER worked against my red brothers and sisters, had in fact offered sanctuary (somehow, I knew this was true of myself) when I could. I never had felt, as other whites had (and still do) that red people were lesser or inferior in any way. The tribes people have fallen into a collective despair because of what has been done to them, and I know that. White people have done so much damage. And yet I love both white and red peoples with fierce affection. (I also love Indian people. I've spent several lifetimes in India as well, and have much attachment to the culture, language, and people-- though I have my criticisms, as I do with white and red people.) Can understanding all sides of an situation and trying to help from different points make me a Betrayer, a Cactus Person? I told the Tribal ghost man to back off-- I was actively working to see what could be done. He didn't need to haunt my Dollmakers.

[I'm thinking the Tribal ghost is an aspect of me that's actually from a past life-- ?? And that this wisp of a memory bleeds through to some of my subconscious processes, perhaps. I have to think on the rest of the end of the dream before writing any further interps, but I'm pretty sure change is in the air on many levels. All my aspects are moving, or packing to move, or have just moved. Lots of subconscious work being done. I'm especially intrigued by the deep-trance dream-vision I had INSIDE another dream! The scene with the tribal woman screaming was just like getting punched in the gut while being blasted in my mind. I knew that woman. Maybe I was that old woman, or watched what happened to her... ]

Profile

tranquilityseekers: meditation girl (Default)
tranquilityseekers

December 2015

M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 22nd, 2017 03:33 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios